What triggers me?
    1. I felt excluded
    2. I felt powerless
    3. I felt unheard
    4. I felt scolded
    5. I felt judged
    6. I felt blamed
    7. I felt disrespected
    8. I felt a lack of affection
    9. I felt uncared for
    10. I felt lonely
    11. I felt ignored
    12. I felt like I couldn’t be honest
    13. I felt like the bad guy
    14. I felt forgotten
    15. I felt unsafe
    16. I felt unloved
    17. I felt that was unfair
    18. I felt frustrated
    19. I felt disconnected
    20. I felt trapped
    21. I felt a lack of passion
    22. I felt like I couldn’t speak up
    23. I felt manipulated
    24. I felt controlled

Here are 24 reasons I can get triggered. Note that out of the 24 triggers, I was triggered by 11 of them around a family related situation late last week.

So what’s a trigger and was there any way that I could have prepared myself to not be triggered last week or any other time I am triggered?

Simply put, a trigger can cause someone to feel upset or frightened because they are reminded of a negative event that happened in the past. The stimulus doesn’t have to be frightening or traumatic, it may only be indirectly or superficially resonant of an earlier traumatic incident.  The thing about triggers is that their subtlety makes them difficult to anticipate and ‘prepare for’.

 

Hence my feelings of being excluded, unheard, judged, uncared-for, lonely, ignored, forgotten, unsafe, unloved, disconnected and controlled. All ugly feelings.

These triggers are only about how I get my feelings triggered. I’m not even going into certain smells, sights, dates, memorials, people, places, things, colors, times of the day, times of the year, sounds, sensations on the body or even taste that can also trigger us.

Even understanding childhood origins as well as being re-triggered acutely two years ago did little to ‘prepare’ me from being blindsided. I felt like Will Clark getting blindsided by Ozzie Smith back in July 1988.

I have no panacea for my triggers. I work hard at keeping boundaries and telling the truth. Life just throws me a curve ball at times. When this happens, as I have for the past week, I have to feel the feelings, talk about them, process them, write about them, and basically know this too shall pass.

 

6 July 2019 – Triggers

One thought on “6 July 2019 – Triggers

  • July 8, 2019 at 12:28 pm
    Permalink

    Yes! Reading you is like reading me on my own triggers. Reminds me a lot of what I had to do 2017 in my own processing of the Florida experience.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Mo Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. If you continue on this website, you will be providing your consent to our use of cookies.